Death & Transformation
On October 1st, 2022 we gathered some of our closest loved ones at my husband, Johnny's family property in West Bath, Main. This very special place has been in his family for something like six+ generations and has intimately held death, life, love, loss, growth and everything in between.
I felt the trees drinking in our love as we celebrated our union and our rite of passage together.
The land will forever hold the stamp of our love and our sacred ceremony and for that, I feel myself forever intertwined with all of the beings that bless the space.
A few days later, after our wedding, and on the same property, we got to witness and be a part of Johnny's aunt's ceremony of transition. As I watched her ashes get tossed into the ocean and dozens of roses flying in the sky being offered as blessings, I was intimately faced with the ways death shows up when I embrace the joys of life.
As I sit here and write this to you I am shown the memory and vision of when I was seven years old and my father was murdered while my sister was being born into this world. A forever reminder of the messages of life and death that follow us all.
I think I've had many opportunities to to face intricate dances with death. And that is one of the reasons why I believe my work has attracted so many people moving through life transitions, loss and death. I’ve learned one cannot embrace life without embracing death.
Every time you decide to truly live, all the parts of you that try to hold you back out of fear must die.
For example, Menstruation is a rite of passage and initiation into the literal life, death and rebirth cycle. To learn to embrace the cycle of the body, we embrace the cycle of life, and of death. Menstruation is an actual shedding - the body’s natural detoxification method and a very wise healing time of tuning into all you need to release, transform and shed.
The initiation and rite of passage of Motherhood is when there is seemingly no choice but to release who you once were. You will never be the same again. A true shamanic death can occur through the process of giving birth as you hold the portal between this world and another.
Marriage is the rite of passage and initiation into a union of love, understanding, growth and also...death. For me personally, I've had to burn and transform the parts of me that were afraid to ask for help, fearful of being deeply held and taken care of, and to trust that no matter what the future holds, I am capable of moving through any challenges that arise. To be loved and to love is to live.
Menopause is the rite of passage and initiation of moving more deeply into one's self, acts of authentic service and embodying the wise, crone archetype. This is the one I see most misunderstood and feared partly because of the sheer power that comes with the marking of menopause and beyond.
All of these rites of passages invite you into a great RELEASING THE NEED TO CONTROL. You cannot hold on to who you once were and move through these initiations without eventually feeling dragged. What are you being called to release? Are you moving through an initiation? How can you support yourself?
Writing from October 2022 Medicine shared in Kelly’s Monthly Medicine Newsletter